Sorry is as Sorry Does When it Comes to an Apology

I feel truly upset. I am sorry for anyone who was hurt by my remarks. I regret that I misspoke. I hate that I was misunderstood. I regret that my actions caused anyone harm. I apologize for my unwise behavior. I apologize if my actions offended anyone. These are examples of the types of apologies often made by politicians, actors and actresses, music entertainers, and sports stars. They often make long conciliatory statements that are suppose to be taken as an apology. Yet, reporters often point out to us the apparent lack of true repentance, the absence of the words “I am sorry.”

I assume, from their apparent lack of skill, that making an apology is something that many people never learned. But, nothing helps a relationship in trouble more than a genuine apology. Its like hot buttered pancakes covered in molasses on a cold day. So, we all need to know how to say “I'm sorry” and really convince someone you mean it. Apparently, a lot of folks' upbringing lacked the proper training in this area.

Well, Pawpaw to the rescue. Pawpaws are good at straightening out someone's attitude or correcting their upbringing. Those out building are not called smokehouses for no reason. I know many a young boy took his first smoke out behind one. But, its main use is to smoke meat? But, its a different meat that gets smoked when a Pawpaw is giving someone's attitude an adjustment.

As a Pawpaw I feel it is imperative that this nation and its people learn to say, “I was wrong. I am sorry. Forgive me. I will do better.” in a way that shows true remorse and that starts the healing of the relationship. A proper apology must include certain things to show your true remorse. So, I've prepared some simple basic southern tips on how to apologize.

• Got your feathers ruffled. You must describe the incident being covered by the apology. You and the person must know what was done wrong. (Men, that's why when you say “I'm sorry.” the next remark made by your spouse is always “For what?”)

• Ain't no such thing as too much pumpkin for a nickel. You must clearly admit the actions you made that were harmful. To do this you must truly acceptance that you have wronged this individual. You must take ownership of the problem.

• You look as happy as a dead pig in the sunshine. I suppose all of us understands that a dead pig ain't happy. You must be truly sorry. Your demeanor and your statement of regret must show your remorse for your actions. You did notice all the yours?

• Mending fences makes good neighbors. You must ask for forgiveness. You are apologizing for your wrongs, so you must ask the person to forgive you for them. You are going through this to mend a relationship with someone. For this to happen, the person must respond. You must assist him by giving him the opportunity to accept the apology, so his healing can begin.

• Gone back on your raisin. You must assure him that it will never happen again. One way to do this is to point out that you knew it was wrong and you will never make that mistake again.

• You can make a silk purse out of a sows ear, if you work hard enough. You must make restitution, if possible. If you have taken something, you must return it whether it is the person's property or the person's character. If you are truly sorry, you will want to make restitution.

Notice it does not say that you are allowed to provide reasons/excuses for your action. It does not say that you are allowed to list any responsibility that the other person has or to share the blame with others.